I went to church last night. Although this occurrence may seem mundane and expected to most of you, you gotta understand my relationship with religion to truly see the significance of my appearance at Shepherd of the Valley. Two years ago I was teaching Sunday School at that place, and now church has become a biannual stop for me (Christmas, and Easter). Part of the reason I don't really attend Church anymore is because I fail to grasp anything concrete from a 50 minute service. Yesterday was particularly weird, though...
The pre-service routine of staring at the little babies in the pews in front of me was still on schedule. I turned to my dad and said "You know what's kind of gay? No other religion seems to try and convert outsiders. Christians are pretty arrogant." He didn't like that. I gotta text from Marisa saying she saw me in the sanctuary. I was glad I got this text because it allowed for me to occupy most of time by scanning the crowd looking for her (to no avail, though). Then the service started. There was a Senior Choir that performed something in this Oprah-styled manner, (that's a euphemism for "a style of music that disinterested me). I started to look closely at the singers, and I suddenly felt like I was living a sequel of "The Grinch" in this church. Let me explain...
In "The Grinch," for those who haven't seen it, Who-ville celebrates Christmas in this crazy, flamboyant way. Anyone who doesn't hold the utmost excitement for the holiday is shunned as an outcast. I felt like an outcast. The excitement amongst these people at Church just seemed SO feigned. I looked around the bleachers and saw a bunch of sinners. In my head, I visualized a woman who cheated on her husband. I saw a man who was guilty of domestic violence, and another man who's had a history as a thief. How could a group of such blatant sinners be so inebriated in their religion??
Right when series of these questions were going through my head, a light came shining through the top window and hit me in the right eye. Weirdly enough, the questions stopped. Now, it was a particularly gloomy day and so this kind of an event left me really curious. Just like science can "disprove" religion, I'm sure meteorologist Dave Dahl could offer some knowledge on how the right time of the day allowed for the sun to peak through at such an angle. Well, I digress.
If I were a symbolic person, I would use this event to remind myself that even when the sun (son) seems to be hiding, it's still there. Church isn't about living up to Christian ideals. It isn't about learning the bible verses , and it isn't even about repenting for your sins; do that on your own time. I think the most crucial part of church is to try to find something worthwhile. Find something that you can apply to your life, or that can keep you moving. Regardless, Faith > religion, and i don't mean to upset any atheists, agnostics, or different religions with this post. If you have YOUR OWN morals, and abide to them, you will be given endless respect from me.
Have a good easter with the fam, friends, or anyone else that has helped you get to where you're at.
-Jack
