the Newtown, Connecticut Tragedy

I realize I'm a little tardy in addressing this tragedy, but it's taken a few days to collect my thoughts. I still can't wrap my head around the reality of a kindergarten classroom being exposed to a gunman. It's something so horrendous that not even Hollywood would dare include it in a movie; yet it happened.

Seeing pictures of the mass-murderer, it's impossible to not question What made him so evil? I don't think we'll ever truly know. The evidence suggests that he found out his mom was going to submit her son into a psychiatric ward, and he found out. In an attempt to evade the inevitable, and make his mom suffer for betraying him, he went to her school that day and struck terror. Is society as a whole okay with letting that be the reason? Is that something we can just shrug off and say "he went crazy....he was insane... his mom should have concealed it better"??

If this was the only case of tragic action being taken in recent history, then maybe. From the Virginia Tech shooting, to the Colorado movie theater shooting, to the Oregon mall shooting, mass murders continue to be taking place in the United States. It's not just the case of one man being crazy, it's not just the case of one loose end not being tied up. More than anything else, this tragedy that occurred in Newtown should suggest to us that society NEEDS change.

We need to change the way we treat and interact  (or fail to interact) with ostracized kids. We need to recognize violent tendencies in our youth, and seek immediate help. We need to remind our loved ones that we still love them. Nobody should feel nervous about going to school, the mall, or a movie. It's insane. Part of me wants to yell "FUCK YOU" to society and to the psychopaths within it that continue to commit these atrocities, but the logical part of me realizes that solves nothing.

I don't want to have to walk through metal detectors on my way to school... I don't envision my children's classrooms being guarded by armed men. My heart is heavy. America doesn't seem to have an answer, other than "BRING GOD BACK INTO THE SCHOOLS," which is an illogical and dividing argument even to a devout Christian like myself. I don't think a lack of God's presence is what altered the path that the Newtown killer traveled upon; I think it was a history of mishaps and maltreatments that brought him to the psychotic level, under which he killed those innocent children.

My prayers have been lackluster and confused these past days. I don't understand God's plans. I don't know how to cope with something so horrific, and I wish it wasn't real life. I send my deepest regards to the families of the lost ones, whom may have moved to the small-town Connecticut community as a means of avoiding conflicts like this. A once pleasant and peaceful city will now forever be tainted by what went down last Friday; it's traumatizing.

It's our humane obligation to ensure that these lives were not lost in vain. Change the way you treat others, reach out to those who seem troubled, and allow room for more people in your heart. I can't promise you that you will save lives by doing so, but I am certain you won't be hurting any.

-Jack

on identity

This post is partially inspired by an Andrew Root lecture.

When looking at people's Bios on Twitter, or About Mes on Facebook, the irrefutable trend is inadequate descriptions of oneself. Most say, "Sophomore at So-and-So University," or "rapper", or "mother", or some vaguely coherent country lyric. More than anything, I think this is reflective upon the fact that most of us don't truly no who we are. We identify ourselves as a being in relation to our location, our profession, our hobbies, or our relations to others.

I'm nearing 20 years old, and I still have no idea who I am. The complexities of my thought process puzzle me daily. This weekend, I heard of an anonymous friend of mine who asked What is Jack even doing with his life? It's a reasonable question.

I can't decisively say what career I want to hold when I'm out of college. I can't really even say what college I will graduate from. A couple weeks ago, I talked to admissions at the U of M about a potential transfer. I don't really know what God has planned for me, and I don't really know what I have planned for myself.

I think all of us struggle with this identity question. Most of our lives, our names have been traced with characteristics that those around us have stenciled into our identities. The polarity of things I've heard about Jack Yakowicz are wide-spread; I've been called everything from "The nicest guy I've ever met," to "the biggest fucking asshole." We're expected to assimilate into these traits that others brand us with.

At the end of the day, I can't pinpoint certain qualities of myself, because everything is relative to how an outsider perceives it. I'm not rushing time, the stars will align and I have the utmost excitement when it comes to my future. It'll be cool to see where my "identity" is in 10 years...