on identity

This post is partially inspired by an Andrew Root lecture.

When looking at people's Bios on Twitter, or About Mes on Facebook, the irrefutable trend is inadequate descriptions of oneself. Most say, "Sophomore at So-and-So University," or "rapper", or "mother", or some vaguely coherent country lyric. More than anything, I think this is reflective upon the fact that most of us don't truly no who we are. We identify ourselves as a being in relation to our location, our profession, our hobbies, or our relations to others.

I'm nearing 20 years old, and I still have no idea who I am. The complexities of my thought process puzzle me daily. This weekend, I heard of an anonymous friend of mine who asked What is Jack even doing with his life? It's a reasonable question.

I can't decisively say what career I want to hold when I'm out of college. I can't really even say what college I will graduate from. A couple weeks ago, I talked to admissions at the U of M about a potential transfer. I don't really know what God has planned for me, and I don't really know what I have planned for myself.

I think all of us struggle with this identity question. Most of our lives, our names have been traced with characteristics that those around us have stenciled into our identities. The polarity of things I've heard about Jack Yakowicz are wide-spread; I've been called everything from "The nicest guy I've ever met," to "the biggest fucking asshole." We're expected to assimilate into these traits that others brand us with.

At the end of the day, I can't pinpoint certain qualities of myself, because everything is relative to how an outsider perceives it. I'm not rushing time, the stars will align and I have the utmost excitement when it comes to my future. It'll be cool to see where my "identity" is in 10 years...